#babes help wtf is the ship names

[myreputatioooon]

Their kink is cuckolding that's why they're like that

[ellecdc]

okay so I just wanted to start by saying I love you're moonwater stories so much.

Ive been thinking about this like paring ig for a bit and your recent moonwater story when r gets home from girls night just made me think of it more so if you're interested id love for you to do it.

Basically its like poly moonwater plus Barty ive been calling it moonwaterkiller in my head (idk if its already a ship or already has a name but I haven't been able to find anything) but basically I feel like r and Barty would be like a chaotic duo and reg and rem would just be like wtf a lot idk... I just think it has some potential and I just love your writing so fucking much.

(I also just love how you write Barty)

so if you're interested I think it would be cool

much love :)

I love the way your mind works babes. thanks for your request! (it's almost two am where I am so please forgive any awkward sentences or spelling mistakes). also, if I didn't completely lose everyone with my DeathStar fics - this may very well do it. && this was written with the help of our fabulous @unstablereader

poly!moonwater x chaotic fem!reader + Barty Crouch Junior

Regulus didn’t know whether to be concerned or slightly aroused at the slightly deranged way that Remus was stalking the halls in search of you and Barty. 

You and Regulus had both at one point or another been in a friends-with-benefits situation with Barty (albeit separately) during your time in school, before you and Regulus went and fell in love with a Gryffindor. 

Regulus still wasn’t quite over the humiliation; both of falling in love and falling in love with a Gryffindor.

Of course, you and Regulus both stayed friends with Barty; Regulus mostly because he couldn’t shake him (ignoring the fact that Regulus really was quite fond of his maniacal friend), and you because the two of you really were sort of two sides of the same hyperactive galleon. 

And though Remus (and sometimes Regulus) liked to pretend that yours and Barty’s friendship caused them grief, they couldn’t deny how much they valued Barty’s loyalty and devotion to his friends; specifically you. 

Regulus’ new favourite thing was easily Remus’ new found appreciation for Barty. 

Up until this point, Barty had been his notoriously flirty and salacious self when it came to the likes of Remus, who wasn’t yet accustomed to Barty’s unique…personality.

However, once Remus realised the history between his two partners and the other Slytherin boy, he quickly came to appreciate the kind of pull Barty could have on people.

So, Remus had started flirting back.

Barty hated it.

Regulus loved it.

You started keeping track of the number of times Remus reduced Barty to a blushing and stuttering mess in your notebook. 

Barty hated that too.

It was nearing curfew and Remus and Regulus hadn’t seen you all afternoon. 

Usually that was fine, considering you were a bit of a free spirit. What was concerning, however, was that they hadn’t seen Barty either.

Regulus watched as Remus checked the stupid map that his brother and their friends had created when his brows furrowed in confusion.

“What? Don’t tell me they’re in the middle of the Black Lake again?” Regulus asked quickly, moving to stand over Remus’ shoulder to peer at the map.

“Again?”

“Don’t ask.” Regulus muttered.

“But…doesn’t Barty not know how to swim?”

“I said don’t ask.”

Seeming to know better, Remus turned back and pointed towards the Ravenclaw common room on the map. “It says they’re up in Ravenclaw tower?”

“For fuck’s sake.” Regulus muttered, dragging a hand over his face.

“How’d two Slytherin’s manage to get into Ravenclaw tower?” Remus asked bemusedly, earning him an unimpressed glare from Regulus. 

“Remus, I love you, but that was perhaps the dumbest question you’ve ever asked me.”

Remus rolled his eyes as he closed the map and tucked it back into his trunk.

“Come on, we might be able to catch up to Pandora on her way up and have her help us in.” 

They had indeed caught up to Pandora, and Pandora had indeed helped them in, though it seemed to be for naught. 

“I thought your stupid map said they were here.” Regulus muttered as he surveyed the common room, unable to spot a single lick of green and silver.

“It’s not stupid and they are in here.” Remus muttered back, moving to stand in the dead centre of the room. 

“How do you know they’re here if you can’t see them?”

Remus glared at Regulus before looking around to ensure no one could hear them. “I can smell them.” He whispered.

Well Regulus just didn’t know what good these wolfy senses were if they were still out two Slytherin’s. 

“Shit.” Regulus heard whispered suddenly as a quill fell from the air and landed beside his foot.

Remus and Regulus both looked up to see you and Barty casually lounging in the chandelier above them.

“Are you sodding kidding me!?” Regulus shouted.

“I think our cover’s been blown.” You said simply to Barty as if you didn’t have two fuming and fretting boyfriends standing nearly forty feet give or take below you.

“Pity.” Barty responded as he peered down. “This was a nice refuge.”

“How’d you even get up there?” Remus cried, pacing like he was getting ready to catch you should you fall.

“Magic.” Barty taunted from above.

“Junior, so help me gods if that witch falls I-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lupin. I resent the insinuation that I would ever let anything happen to our sweet angel baby.” Barty bit back immediately.

“Okay, okay. Fair enough.” Remus acquiesced as if he were negotiating a hostage situation. “Why don’t you both just come down here, nice and slow, okay?”

Both you and Barty leaned forward to look down at the two boys, causing the chandelier to swing precariously.

“Fucking hells! Stop moving!” Remus shrieked, causing the attention of the few Ravenclaws sitting in the common room to look over.

“Such a worrier.” Barty muttered as he stood and started manoeuvring himself to the edge of the chandelier - you following him over and causing the chandelier to tip to a nearly 90 degree angle. 

“I’m going to be sick, I’m actually going to throw up right here.” Regulus muttered mostly to himself whilst Remus tried to stand directly underneath you lest you need to be caught. 

To Remus and Regulus’ absolute horror, Barty launched himself away from the chandelier, grabbing at the billowy banners hanging from the ceiling causing the chandelier to swing away from him like a pendulum. 

“JUNIOR!” Remus shouted, causing Barty to momentarily look shamefaced as he looked below him. 

As the chandelier swung towards the opposite wall, you too launched yourself at one of the billowy banners hanging from the ceiling and began monkey climbing down them.

“Can you make sure she doesn’t fall, please.” Remus barked at Regulus as he made his way towards Barty.

Barty let out a high pitched screech and began hastily making his way down the wall. “Run Treasure! Save yourself!” He shouted dramatically.

You turned quickly at that and saw Regulus making his way to you.

You let out a surprised squeak and hurried down, and before Regulus realised what you were doing, you had used your wand to open one of the windows and were shimmying out.

“Oi! What the-” but before Regulus could even shove his torso out the window, you’d managed to shift into your animagus form - a mink, which Regulus felt was very fitting considering what a sodding cheeky minx you were being right now - and began scaling your way down the side of the building.

Regulus was interrupted by the sound of a squeal - Remus’ squeal - and turned to see Remus hanging halfway out of the window in much the same fashion that Regulus had been.

Unlike Regulus, however, Remus had been successful in his capture of Barty and had him hanging from the tallest tower at Hogwarts by one of his arms.

“Junior! Are you trying to sodding kill me!?” Remus barked angrily at him, trying to pull Barty up without any help from Barty himself.

Barty looked up at Remus with all the innocence he could muster (read: none) and winked. 

“Catch me if you can, Mr. Wolf.”

And Barty shrunk into his own animagus form - an osprey - and let out a cry before swooping down to pick up something that looked suspiciously like a mink from the eaves of one of the lower towers and took off towards the grounds. 

“Fucking son of a bitch.” Remus cursed as he tried catching his breath, still sitting half out of the Ravenclaw window. “Why do we put up with those two?”

Regulus shrugged with all the nonchalance he could muster. “‘Cause they’re cute?”

Remus sighed and hit his head against the windowsill. “They’re so sodding lucky that they are…”

“Come on.” Regulus said, offering Remus a hand and helping him out of the window. “Unfortunately, I know exactly where they went.”

Barty loved nothing more than the feeling of his feet sinking into the sediment of the Black Lake below his feet. He also loved the feeling of being near you, his Treasure. He also loved the idea of two handsome men frantically searching for you, and him by proxy.

All this to say, Barty was having a really nice night.

“Junior!”

Barty’s face morphed into a Cheshire cat grin as he turned towards the voice of the man and his boyfriend as they stormed towards the waters edge.

“Well hello, Lupin. How nice of you to join us; care for a dip?”

“Get out of the water.” Regulus drawled in a bored tone.

“Why would I do such a thing? The water’s lovely, I’m in wonderful company, and we’re going to feed the Giant Squid.” He argued.

“Barty.” Remus barked with all the severity he could manage. “You don’t know how to swim.”

Barty scoffed indignantly. “Yeah, well…neither can Reggie!”

“That’s why I’m standing on the shore you absolute bell-end.” Regulus countered quickly.

Remus turned his furious gaze into a bemused one as he took in Regulus. “Do you really not know how to swim either?”

“None of us can!” You shouted from your disturbingly deeper place within the lake as the gentle waves nearly lapped against your skirt.

“Oh, for the love of- you know what? This summer, everyone’s getting swimming lessons.” Remus proclaimed.

“Ou, does that mean I get to see you in your swim trunks, Lupin?” Barty called.

Remus, without missing a beat, started towards Barty, walking into the lake in his shoes and all. “You could see me right now, in less, for free, Junior. You only had to ask.”

Barty let out a screech and tried running towards you, albeit in slow motion on account of the water’s resistance. “Y/N! Treasure! Help! Make him stop!”

“No can do, bubs.” You called back in monotone, still throwing chunks of bread towards the middle of the Lake in hopes of eliciting the company of one Giant Squid. 

“Dove, you’re going to catch a cold; get out of the water.” Remus called to you, pants soaked up to his knees after giving up on chasing Barty in the water.

“We’re trying to make friends!” You whined.

“You cannot make friends with a squid, amour. He will eat you.” Regulus explained from the shore. 

“He wouldn’t eat his friend.” You scoffed. 

“Dove.” Remus barked again.

“I want to see the the big water kitty!” You whined again, turning towards the boys and offering the most pathetic pout you could muster.

Regulus scoffed from his place, still dry on the shore, Remus let out a pained sigh, and Barty all but skipped towards you. 

“A valiant death it will be!” He cheered before he felt the fabric of his jumper being summoned by an accio, dragging him unceremoniously through the water towards Remus.

“No! Ah! AH! STRANGER DANGER. STRANGER DANGER!” He shrieked as Remus threw him over his shoulder.

“Okay, well, now you’re just showing off, Lupin.” He muttered, crossing his arm petulantly as Remus held his free hand out to you.

“Dove, please? Come inside with me?”

You looked distressed at this and moved obediently towards Remus. “Are you mad at me?” You asked timidly.

Barty could actually feel Remus’ body soften beneath him as he allowed some of his tension to dissipate. “Of course not, dovey. I love you.”

You leaned over and pecked a kiss to the corner of his mouth before turning into your animagus mink and swimming to the shore, crawling up Regulus’ pant leg (who admonished you in faux contempt for ruining his trousers), and allowed him to carry you back to the castle. 

Barty was feeling petulant about the whole matter of being chased and chastised so decided then that he was going to force Remus to carry him all the way back to the castle in silence.

Unfortunately for Barty, he hated silence.

He was at least proud he’d made it to the dungeons before giving up on his vow of silence.

“You’re really not upset with her?” Barty asked quietly from his current prison. He could feel Remus’ head tilt in confusion, though his steps never faltered.

“Of course not?” He responded as a question.

“Hmmm.” Barty said, racking his brain for something to upset or fluster this man.

“Oh! What about me having slept with both your boyfriend and your girlfriend?”

“What about it?” Remus asked plainly. 

“Well…aren’t you upset about that?”

Remus scoffed and adjusted his grip on Barty, hand’s migrating none too innocently up the back of his thighs. “Junior. The only thing I’m upset about is that you haven’t slept with all three of us. I don’t like feeling left out, you know?”

Barty made a strangled sound as he struggled in Remus’ grip to no avail, causing you and Regulus to chuckle from a few strides ahead as you all stepped into the Slytherin common room.

“We told you he was smooth, Barty.” You chuckled.

“You should hear him in bed.” Regulus taunted, reaching over to pinch Barty’s arse, causing him to yelp and start cursing at him.

Remus relented and put Barty down, who immediately made for Regulus’ throat.

“Easy, Junior.” Remus chuckled, pulling him back by the shoulder. “You wanna keep Reg around, don’t you?”

Barty harrumphed and crossed his arms indignantly.

“We’d like to keep you around.” Remus continued.

Barty grumbled again and let out a quiet. “Fine.”

Remus beamed at him, which was very alarming if you asked Barty, as they stepped into his and Regulus’ shared dorm; Rosier and Avery were already asleep in their beds with their curtains drawn.

“Yeah? You’ll let us keep you?” Remus asked.

“I said fine, Lupin.” He bit back.

“Great. So we’re in a relationship then.” He explained simply, causing Barty to level him with a severe glare. “How dare you, Lupin. Never say such vile things to me again.” He spat before storming towards the boy’s bathroom.

Regulus groaned and grabbed his own toiletries before making his way to the washroom behind him. “I’ll go make sure he doesn’t try to drown himself in the shower again.”

Remus shook his head and changed into his pyjamas before climbing into Regulus’ bed and pulling you towards him.

“So, explain this to me, Dove. Why is Barty the way he is?”

You snorted a laugh and turned to face him. “You’re going to have to be way more specific, love.”

Remus chuckled and ran his hands up and down your back. “He likes Reg. He loves you. He seems sweet on me. We invite him to be ours and he accepts - but runs when we make it mean something?”

You smiled up at your boyfriend and booped his nose with a perfectly manicured finger - which Remus found very confusing considering you spend your spare time scaling the rafters of grand ceilings and enticing Giant Squids from their hiding places. “Barty doesn’t understand, Rem. He wouldn’t know love if it punched him right in the face.”

Remus could feel his brows furrow and he pulled you in tighter to his chest. “Dove…love doesn’t punch you in the face?”

Apparently that had been the wrong thing to say as you rolled your eyes in exasperation and threw your head back onto the pillow. “You see? That’s the kind of thing someone who grew up loved would know.”

It’s not that Remus ever really forgot to worry about you per se, but he sometimes really worried about you Purebloods. 

At some point in the night, you had apparently decided Remus and Regulus’ bed was too hot and moved to Barty’s. Remus would have been slightly more petulant about the matter if he hadn’t thought you looked absolutely precious with Barty resting his head on your chest.

He looked so innocent in his sleep.

Sleep clearly didn’t know him very well.

Remus was shocked when the four of you entered the Great Hall for breakfast and Barty actually followed you three to the Gryffindor table. Though Remus was trying to play it cool, he couldn’t help but feel a flutter of hope surge within him at what that might mean for the three four of you.

Remus was just about to bite into his toast when a sultry voice sounded from behind Barty.

“Hello, Bartemus.” Amelia Bones sing-songed as she trailed a finger up Barty’s arm.

His brows furrowed almost comically from above the rim of his coffee cup before he slowly lowered it and turned to consider the Hufflepuff.

“Bones. Can I help you?” He asked, punctuating the word help as he plucked her fingers from his being between his two fingers as if he’d found something really quite disgusting on his person.

“I was thinking, you could help me, perhaps tonight?”

Barty turned to look at her incredulously.

“Help with what, Amelia? I’m really quite busy.” He spat, gesturing wildly to his cup of coffee. 

“An orgasm or two? Gods, you’re pissy in the mornings.”

Barty scoffed, sounding completely scandalised as he clutched at non-existent pearls adorning his neck. “I am sitting here with my beloveds, Amelia. For shame. You see this lot? I’m theirs, capiche?” 

Amelia looked bemusedly at the group of you before shaking her head in confusion. “Whatever you say, Junior.”

She moseyed on away, and Barty turned back towards his cup of coffee. “The gall of some people, honestly.” He said in exasperation, downing the rest of his still hot coffee and standing unceremoniously.

“Well, I best be off. Things to fuck up, people to scare. Tah-tah.” He called, pressing a quick kiss to your hair as he left the Great Hall.

Suddenly, realisation dawned on Remus.

“Ah, I see. So no to a relationship, but he is ours.”

You and Regulus chorused a hum of acknowledgement. 

“That’s just how Barty operates. You’ll get used to it.” You explained, still not looking up from the Daily Prophet you had been reading all this time.

Remus didn’t mind getting used to that; not if it meant he managed to get everything he wanted.

[ellena-asg]

McDanno in front of suspect's salad - every damn time:

• they have that Big Talk with a suspect but after every few sentences they feel a need to look at each other intensely

• a suspect sits in front of them and suddenly they feel a need to touch each other or they pretend they're arguing (cause it's sexy + it's a good excuse for some extra touching)

• they ask suspect about important things but after hearing the answer they suddenly have their goofy time together, they make jokes or just generally have fun, like "Hey, babe, do you remember how I threw that guy into a cage with sharks?"/"Oh yeah, hahahah"

• a suspect talks to them and they can hear/are focused but they're also so busy flirting with each other and/or are very very sweet to each other (say compliments f.e.) and all around is suddenly so sweet

• a suspect is still there (handcuffed or not yet) but these two dorks are now focused on their private life, like "Hey, how's Gracie?"/"Still sad that I couldn't watch that Barbie cartoon with her but I'm gonna make her the best pancakes ever so...". Or: "Ugh, my stomach!"/"Ha! I told you: don't eat this shit! But don't worry, babe. This time I WILL drive us to home and um, I'll give you a hot massage. I mean... I'll give your belly a hot massage, I, um, I will use hot stones!"

They usually talk about their Ohana and feelings (oh the episode where Steve comes back to Hawaii with Wo-Fat and Danny is like "Cargo pants! I knew it!" and "Steve. Did you miss me, babe? Ha?! Cause I missed you! Come on, hug me!" and Wo-Fat is like "WTF is happening here"). But it can be literally about everything: tickets for the game, medical appointment, shopping, weather...

• there's also this McDanno pose:

aka "We are Boyfriends, you know" ("Btw don't mess with us!")

I can't with our boys but especially with their suspects having the most confusing time of their life 😂 All these guys at first are like "Oh shit, cops!" and they expect some talking, all that serious police jazz, maybe some threatening but soon they all see and hear McDanno being McDanno and they're like "WTF? Are these cops serious? Is this some hidden camera show or what? Do they know they're at work and they should be professional? Do they remember about their suspect?!".

Suspect: Ahem. I'm still here, you know.

McDanno: *being McDanno*

Suspect: Hello? Officers? *Oh no, I'm like the air now, they don't see me* *Oh, fuck, they're doing this again! Come on men, it's too intimate, I don't feel comfortable you know. You need a room and I shouldn't be in that room with you, you get it?*

McDanno: *being McDanno*

Suspect: Excuse me! You should arrest me and take to your car or something like that, right? Right?! *oh mommy, I don't wanna stand here with them, invisible, forever!*

McDanno: *being McDanno*

Suspect: SOMEBODY TAKE ME TO THE JAIL! Pleeeease! *sob* HELP! HELP!

Oh and the episode where Steve and Danny played basketball with prisoners and prisoners were like "Yo, you're fucking married!"? Sure, they had eyes, they noticed it all. But I bet that they knew. They knew it before seeing our boys. All prisoners know - from other prisoners (guys booked by Danno and Steve). You go to jail = you hear about McDanno, they're legendary.

New prisoner: Hi everybody! I'm here cause I'm a serial killer. You can call me like you want but I prefer...

Other prisoners: Who caught you?

New prisoner: Um, cops.

Other prisoners: But who exactly?

New prisoner: Sorry, I don't remember their names. I only remember my sense of awkwardness... and that they called each other "babe". Huh, Small Romeo and Tall Romeo? Yeah, I know, shitty description is shitty and...

Other prisoners: *whispering and cursing* *but also shipping secretly* MCDANNO!!!

New prisoner: So... They do this in front of every...

Other prisoners: ALWAYS!

[winifred-stormborne]

Babe, wake up, new Genshin ship just dropped

Okay guys hear me out

Tartaglia x Emilie

OKAY NO BUT HEAR ME OUT

Tartaglia goes to Fontaine. No introduction there, we all know the weird shit happening in Fontaine by the time he gets there.

Of course, with Emilie being a forensic scientist, she's on the missing persons' case that's been plaguing Fontaine for years now.

Tartaglia is of course immediately under suspect because IT'S TARTAGLIA DUH and naturally Emilie's like "Wtf no???" and comes to his aid with all her research on the case. We love the girl coming to a man in distress, honestly. More male damsels, please ;v;

The Oratrice finds him guilty and he tries squaring up with Neuvilette. Emphasis on "tries". Sorry Tartaglia, I love you, but you got laid the absolute fuck out by him. And then of course, he goes missing in Meropide. Poof.

And since Emilie works with Wriothesley, she gets into Meropide pretty easily to figure out what the heck is happening. That's when she meets our favorite twins, Lyney and Lynette, who are also working the case to look for their Fatui friend. Emilie finds Tartaglia's Hydro Vision left behind and BOOM she knows about the Primordial Sea and where he is.

Great, now she's wrapped up in the whole thing about Furina :D

Okay okay fast forward through Furina's trial when the Narwhal and Tartaglia show up running hands with each other. Emilie's in so deep that she FOLLOWS HIM INTO THE ABYSS with Neuvillette.

Anyway, Neuvillette, Emilie, and best boy beat the hell out of the Narwhal. I imagine Emilie doesn't get to know much about Abyss stuff and gets ejected out like Tartaglia when Skirk shows up. Tartaglia winds up back in Snezhnaya and Emilie gets dropped back into Fontaine.

Time passes, things return to semi-normal after Furina steps down as Archon. Emilie's been cleaning up some final paperwork regarding the cases she's been a part of recently. And that's when a letter arrives from Snezhnaya.

It's from Tartaglia! He's thanking her for coming to his aid and helping to clear his name, even though they were pretty much strangers to one another the whole time. He expresses interest in getting to know her better so he can properly thank you for all her help. That help might have been alluding to violence against other people, but that's neither here nor there hehe

So not only does Emilie write him back, she sends him a care package with his Vision that he lost and an array of custom perfumes/colognes she thinks Tartaglia would enjoy, all themed around the ocean!

I'm talking sweet beachy sandalwood scents, perhaps one with a crisp, saltier scent like ocean water, and definitely something with a bit of a woodsy smell to it, like a clean, oceanside pine forest.

Oh boy, Tartaglia thinks he may be head over heels at this point 👀

That's it, he's going back to Fontaine for a visit! Cute shenanigans ensue! They're adorable AAAAA

Brb I have fanfiction to write now sjgstjsjgjgdst

[inusmasha]

Just rambling about InuKag dynamics I don't see ppl talk about.

this is 'long post' disclaimer .

Its a ghostly day today, and I have it all to myself. So while defrosting this english muffin I started musing about what sort of dynamics I like most in fiction. Like not just romantic wise. I wanted to figure out what was.. the tension? I enjoyed most... between what two archetypes?

And I what I noticed is that I love a good Mentor/Mentee dynamic. It's something that's been pretttyyyy consistent since childhood. (I can't name any atm to help my argument but you feel compelled to keep reading)

However, I didn't see how this would fit InuKag? My Titanic? My ship of dreams? My childhood? InuKag sometimes stands out like a sore thumb compared to my other interests. I was going to chalk it up to "Well it's baby's first anime so.." UNTIL..

I realized the fandom tends to focus on how Kagome helped Inuyasha (recover his lost heart, humanity, the unconditional selfless love, understanding ect.) but like.. we don't really talk about what he provides for her as much? And I'd love to indulge you with my take but we'd have to go over why I think Kagome decided to leave the modern world and opt for a life in wilderness of the Feudal Era.

Yes, yes. A big part is Inuyasha. That is a huge driving factor. But Im saying step back and see what's happening in the grand scheme of things.

I think..for Kagome..her romance with Inuyasha acted as a portal to a type of freedom she didn't know she craved. He acts as a guide of sort. He gives her access and safe passage to explore this dangerous world fully without fear. It reminds me of when I was with my first bf and I was over the moon happy when I realized I could walk around at night with him. It was THRILLING to my sheltered teen ass. It was like I was holding the key to the VIP room. I was allowed backstage. He was a door that opened me up to new experiences that would not of been available to me at that time otherwise!

And then the benefit of being immersed in nature. With your lover. Who is a figure that exists outside of the society that was keeping you locked up in the first place. Kagome's name is also referencing 'a bird in a cage'.

Like?

Kagome also serves as a guide for Inuyasha. She brings him back from the liminal space of the forest to the village/community/connection. Again opening him up to the possibility of trusting others and forming bonds and setting down roots in the village.

Kagome also represents us the Audience. She is our perspective. She is "The Ordinary Teenage Girl". She's pulled into the well like we are being pulled into the narrative. She grapples with her identity. Her purpose. Her abilities. She's lip singing to Kelly Clarkson with her hairbrush in front of the mirror. She's trying to get to school but...OOP...You know what? I'm 16. I'm suddenly in a fairy tale. The faries spirited me away and I can't take the test right now. The magical jewel was in my hip you see. I'll think about high school entrance exams later when I'm done shooting my sparkly arrows.

You can't sit there and tell me that you didn't long to escape the druggery that came after graduating lol? The what so I do now? The who am I ? And where do I belong? What major do I want? I have to buy a house now? No? I have to fix my credit score-

No babe. You're going to hitch a ride on your bf's back with ya hair down and eat fruit by a waterfall. He's going to ask you wtf a test is to the sound of a million birds chirping in the morning. Then you're going to go back to your loving village that welcomes you home and calls you a hero.

It makes sense that she stayed. It makes sense. You just gotta... see the vision.. you gotta FEEEEL the escapism.

Anyway yeah lol. Not really a mentor to each other per say but their meeting was a catalysis for a lot of growth and learning and trials and tribulations that changed them for the better. And it just feels similar.

[ham1lton]

what about just yn living her best wag life and going to the euros? she’s in her victoria beckham era fr

author’s note: omggggg i love this idea. part of the dream girl series but can be read as a standalone!

liked by footballfan1, judeswifey and 2,938,912 others

footballwags: after her debut at the 2024 euros, everyone is wondering just who is jude bellingham’s alleged girlfriend? well, no fear, we have the exclusive breakdown right here!

her name is yn yln, she is the twenty four year old assistant of f1 driver sir lewis hamilton and met jude at the louis vuitton event. she is currently on tiktok and instagram under the user yourusername!

she was spotted in a bellingham shirt, cheering alongside his family in germany and according to inside sources, she’s been welcomed into the family with open arms. jude has reportedly been the ‘happiest he’s ever been’ with her and the duo are absolutely ‘smitten’ with each other.

her reinvention of the classic wag uniform of the jersey and jeans caught the attention of fashion powerhouse vogue. the soft glam look that she wore has been recreated by many users online. what are your thoughts about england’s newest wag?

view all 108,882 comments

user1: HES TAKEN ??? FR ??? OH I’M GONNA BE SICK NOOOOOO

-> user2: did u even have a chance with him when he was single bffr 😭

user3: f1 stans here like … first time?

-> user4: we’ve been known yn 😭

user5: she’s finer than bellingham idc

-> user6: no fr she’s a baddie.

yourusername: was the burger photo really necessary??? out of all the pics on my profile like damn 😭😭😭😭

-> user7: u still look hot!!!

-> user9: u ate 😍 (literally)

user8: a three year age gap….

-> user9: they literally met when he turned twenty one and she had just turned twenty four. she is not exactly leo dicaprio is she?

user10: he can do better.

-> user11: your mom should have done better in giving birth to an incel loser.

-> user12: HELP?2&/@:& 😭😭😭

user13: you say alleged like there isn’t footage of them literally kissing and hugging after his goal????

-> user14: like i promise u, ur not getting sued for saying two public figures who do coupley things in broad daylight in a stadium full of people….. are dating

user15: i knew yn would be a wag but i always wanted her to be an f1 wag 😭😭

-> user16: like oscaryn EATS. i want her to be a mclaren wag so bad.

-> user17: the superior mclaren driver x yn ship is landoyn. like c’mon!!! he’s been down bad for her!!! have you not seen her comment sections??

-> user18: maxyn is the truth. do you guys not remember when max and yn’s cats would have play dates? and they’d always post those ig stories with the wine and dinners?

-> user19: all of you are wrong. lewisyn is the real deal. like c’mon, it makes the most sense like logically. the rest are just FADS! lewisyn are practically married.

-> user20: speaking of f1 figures and yn… do y’all remember that video of yn rolling her eyes at christian horner? the sexual tension….

-> user19: ew

-> user18: cause wtf is this ?????? 😭

-> user15: babe this is not a safe space for your freak ass agenda.

user26: i recreated the yn makeup look!! it’s so cute!!

-> user27: she looks so gorgeous i have to stan.

user21: judeyn is the sexiest athlete/wag duo and idc what you have to say.

-> user22: the gen z posh and becks.

user23: a post abt yn without lando in the likes or comment section….

-> user24: WARRRRR ISSS OVVVVEEERRR ‼️

-> landonorris: she knows where home is 😹

-> user23: MAN…. STAND UP!!! 😭😭😭

-> user25: when you’re in a delusional yn stan competition and your opponent is lando: 😱😱

— dream girl series taglist: @flowergirl1134 @laur20a23 @greantii @rafebun @sumlovesjude @papayadays

— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @aliciaablueprint @lennnooshh @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @lavisenri @marshmummy @23victoria @ourlifeforchaos @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @tsireyasgf @landososcar @yongi-lee @maxlarens @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi (if you were on more than one of the taglists, i’ve only tagged you once! :) if you’d like to join either taglist, fill out this form! make sure you read the explanatory box, fill the form out correctly and allow your account to be tagged or i can’t tag you!)

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

SIKES! PART 2!! the dr will be here until the heat death of the universe babes. trekkie plans postponed indefinitely.

gallifrey vibes

water is life…

her name is.... brindle slkdfjdlkjfldkjflksdjfdskfjd COMBO BREAKER

so much death that literally memory is dying. oof. the Social Commentary of that

(bet the man was the master)

a city that began with a b… ???barcelona??

diamonds! bingo check!

a SPOON. cry. this is so doctor who. 12/7 approved.

"and i forgot" oof. "from child to mother" oof

universal broadcast moment!!! check!!!

MEL CUDDLING WITH THE QUESTION MARK SWEATER . i CRY

"cultural appropriation" sdlkjfs well at least we're aware of it

ruby like pls doktah im so tired of watching the fucking pyramids of mars.again. dont u have anything else. dont u have some eccleston in there.

(maybe the rogue's ship is a memory ship as wlel?) bc of all the random props)

"best time of my life" t.t

sutekh driven crazy bc she doesnt know the secrets. relatable.

"you are absolutely human" mmmmmm

("it's keeping us alive bc it wants to know the awnsers" the meta of "the gods are the writers torturing the humans" intesifies")

oh noooooooooooooooo not melanieee

JACK!!!!!!!! SDLKJFDSLK OHH THE DOCTOR CANT LOOK AT THE FORBIDDEN LOST EPISODE

IM SCREAMING IM SO INTO THIS

compulsory dna testing for the whole population sdkljfsdk that sounds… worse than nukes ngl??????

"love a whistle" eyebrow raise

omg all the tardis keyssss

"but guess who invented the security" hehe. mel's smile at that-

"sutekh's servants could be anywhere" badum psss

(i think 15 knows?)

tliteral tv remote moment again……………….

"i loved you mel" "what good did love do, doctor? when did it eve help?

mel is playing him. she has to be. pulling a 4th doctor.

damn look at that bling. fashionable dog

mom???????? YESss- oH NEVERMIND

dslkfjsdlkfjsdfsdf

a-ha! i knew he knew!

haha. get great big fuckoff laser'd. bitch.

FIFTEENTH'S THEME YEES

(oh everything working out but there's still 20+ minutes. one fear)

sdlfkjsdlkfjdsfsdf get yanked bitch

(and this is what rtd wanted donna and fourteen to go through in the title sequence???? slkfjdklf)

DEATH + DEATH = LIFE. YEAH WHY NOT THIS MAY AS WELL HAPPEN

double negatives save the day. reverse the polatiy of the death flow.

GENERAL IS ALIVE YESSSS

carlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! cherry!!! mrs flood you can go on to be creepy yesssss

kate holding hands w/ ibrahim? oh? sdlkfjsd rip ibrahim x general guy otp???

why am i crying about brindle's mom wtf . T.T

in fighting mosnters we mus tbe careful not to become monsters,,,

"i am the one that brings death" oof. metal.

still 14 minutes left mmm

kate wtf. stop hiring everyone u see wtf lkdsjsdfkjlfd

YOUR GRAN WAS TELLING ME OFF FOR NOT DUSTING

"you brought her home" TOT

IT'S HER IT'S KRISTEN TYLER FROM THE CHIPS STORE

she's a nurse"!!!

"she was important because we think she was important" bro im weeping wtf. wtf

rtd u did it again u bastard

i cry t.t

um ok but there's still 10 minutes left….

hahaha. dont touch the baby rooose realness

ohhh 15 like "im pointless now" moment????

500 HUNDRED PHOTOS

ruby dressed as david bowie omg

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa T.T

"of course you will" next season babe!!

bitch he didnt say. HE DIDNT SYA IT BACK. WHERES THE FUCKING THERAPY NOW FSDJFSD

iris? iris??? IRIS??? IRIS??????????? MRS WILDTHYME??????

"doctor who will return" bitcH WHEN

CONCLUSIONS!!

bro idek i cried so much. im distraught. NO MORE NEW ODCCY WHO UNTIL... DECEMBER (???). HOW WILL I LIVE. anyway. 1 take between my tears: this is always the most athesit way u can do "gods are real" storytelling and i love that about russel's style srsly. really need to watch the second coming sdlkfj but from what i've heard it is literally this. and also in torchwood and nuwho obvs. we made the gods, not the opposite. our lives are important bc we make them so, not for any instrinsinc thing. and also connects to ~storytelling theming bc we are all stories in the ~~end. but if we're lucky ppl will still think of us and keep us alive. bc "memory is a time machine"..... anyway. cool ep. back to crying.

empire of death thoughts+reactions part 1

previously onnnn (super short sdlkfj)

HOP ON, COWBOY

sdlkjs morris a literal 13 year old having guns on his lil' scooter thing.is UNIT ok.

omg even the vlinx TOT

the birds will sings again!!!!!!

dust of death mmm delicious alliteration

"im sorry there's nothing we can do. we're dead" vibes

loving this action sequence ngl

WATCHA TALKING ABOUT

maybe is not [insert character]. maybe mrs flood is just an old lady who is Like This.

"my true name" "ur true maker" whats her true maker if not RTD!!! / clowning

"we've got worse problems" that's gonna come back to bite him skdfljdskl

does anyone remember the clara / 1 paintdoktahwho comic "dont take that one. take the tv"

thats what im thinking ot

(askdjlad UGH my iplayer stopped so i refreshed and while skipping to the place i think i spoiled my self for susan ?? TOT sutpid internet stupid preview skipping thumbnail function grrrr) im not a tardis smasher in general but the memory tardis….. would. maybe

"remember it harder" i would be a useless companion here tbh. memory of a goldfish.i would doom the earth.

IT'S A TV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S TELLING THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE

I MADE A JIGSAW OF YOUR HISTORY SDKLFJSLKJF

AAAAAGHHH

sdflkdfj sutekh spining in the vortex. 2 cute

the temple……….. tardis as the thing in the hill meta INTENSIFIES

"so many secrest" um TIMELESS CHILD FUGITIVE MEMORIES FOBWATCH????

oh ok i jut got spoiled for the clip OF susan sdlkfjdskl FALSE ALARM FOLKS

"never yours again, never"

my angels of death………………..

"i find that good" i feel they did this same exact phrasing once for a "death is beautiful" monster like this but i cant remember which story?

also, flux? flux anyone? 13 vs entropy itself?

"i am an extinction event" OOF

(oh this clicks on why the doctor clings sm to living / immortality despite how much it hurts)

memory is a time machine TOT idk but that Hits Harder

"sutes" dlkjfslfk cute

"and doesnt it feel good?" holy shit

yayy mel's not dead yet

MEL GRABBING SIX'S COAT IM FINEIM FINE IM FINE

(idk why but that's what's made me cry slkfjsd)

"ruby roo" sdkljsfd

lasdkj if a regular tardis is 6 people driven then a memory tardis is probably meant to be piloted by every single doctor and companion ever

"meleanie b" TOT (doctor trait unlocked: when 15 is stressed he intensifies on the cutsey nicknames)

CHEKOV'S INGELLITEN GLOVE !!!!! damn i thought for a second about putting that on my bingo card but didnt skldfj

i like that the subtext of "when disaster comes, he's there" / "the tardis is an ommen of death" & "he has one constant companion… death" isn't literally being stated as being "sutekh did it lol" lol cause that would feel a lil cheap. i think instead rtd took a smarter choices of keeping that subtext, but keeping it that stricly speaking what sutekh did was just putting the susan copies everywhere.

73 yards……………

omg wait so in a memory tardis u can remmeber anything to existence………….. what if heiimagines susan at the end

(MOLECULAR BOND ROGUE CALL BACK?)

73 yards…………. HOW DO U KNOW THAT. I JUST DO. SHE'S JUST GOOD AT CONVERTING UNITS DAMN. LET RUBY BE GOOD AT UNIT CONVERSIONS DOCTOR.

ohh wait so this connects perception filters and 73 yards. put on a pin on that (and presumably……. taking down the perception filter is what happened re: ruby? that's why people ran away? people saw beyond her perception filter to the elderitch abomination bellow?)

"you've landed on earth a 100th times" is probably a huuude understimation lol

"she was reborn stronger each time. this monumental figure" dr. who as a cultural institution meta

shots outside the tardis my beloved

1999….. the movie... 2005 …. obvious. 1066 was the fire of london right? with 5?

this is rlly working for me ngl. dr who is all about death meta but it's literal but it's not

and a lso the whole. when u are a time traveler everyone is already dead. we must be like ghosts to u . etc etc

telos… THE OOD SPHERE noooo

mel being like "well…. at least 1% of the universe is fine. that's all right then" .

this |5 "it's all my fault" beat feels a lil' weird until u remember [all the traumas] / flux trauma and then it's like yeah i getchu doc i too take everything bad that happens as proof that it is my fault even tho, factually, it makes no sense as a reaction. trauma/depression girlies united.

THE SUN IS DEAD. rip 42's sun.

omg thank u sutekh for finally fixing that over-blue colorization in the unit set. not all heroes wear capes tbh.

aaaand the end.

fade to black.

doctor who is done! we can all go home and become trekkies everybody. congrats!

[weepylucifer]

AITA post by Tarka that goes “Am I the asshole for trying to have a nice reunion with my long-distance boyfriend” that sets Space Reddit on FIRE

[twstwonderlandstuff]

it's not fair I want silver to have this oh shit, I'm in love awakening w/ Valie (who already knows he's in love w/ Silver and is aggressively flirting but keeps on getting rejected cuz silver's so oblivious)

i need this to be the meme

"are you... flirting with me?"

"have been for the past 8 months, but thanks for noticing."

and he gets uncharacteristically red everytime valie walks in and then valie gets confused and it becomes the whole misundestanding shtick

'ey yo wtf is wrong w/ silver? naur why he red like that is he sick?'

'wdym OHHHH OHOHHOOHOHOHO' [this is lilia]

silver relives all the times valencia's aggresively pursued him and is all oh. shit. oh shit. oh god OHMYSEVEN and its just indescribable embarassment

but then they finally get together but idk what happens next <333 i just want them to pine for each other all the time is that so wrong

valencia saying the most embrassing lines w. a straight face only for silver to, with well-intentions, reject her/ remain oblivious. valencia retreats into the music club to cry and beg for help

the music club members make it worse (especially lilia)

no you listen LISTEN to me lilia is a harderened old general yadda yadda BUT because he's a general he has no tango w/ romance so he's as bad as sebek

NO IDC HE MIGHT BE WISE BUT WISE DOESN'T MEAN HE FUCKS UP

and especially messes up here LOLOLOL

rampant my thought are sil... silval? valsil? i don't have a ship name for them but everutime i lisen to a song its them dancing/ silver admiring valencia dance/sing/ play an instrument

i need that man to be pining and in love w/ valie im so sorry im too selfish bby

valencia's all like 'hi babe, you doin' okay?' with an arm around his waist and silver fucking assumes she's like that to everyone cuz valie's touchy NO. NO, SILVER BABE. BABY IT'S ONLY YOUUUU SHE ONLY TOUCHES UR WAIST AND PLAYS W/ UR HAIR LIKE THAT and KISS YOUR HAND LIKE THAT ONLY YOUUU BBBYYYYY

HE LETS YOU TOUCH HER BACK BCUZ SHE LIKES U SILVER ONEGAIIIII

on my knees hate it god GOD GOD FUCK YOU WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DESTORY MY BRAIN LIKE THIS HE'S SO CUEVAWFAHWSDLFVKDSFNVASDKLF

WIFEABLE

KISSABLE

I WANT THAT MAN EMBARASSED. INCOHERENT. A MESS.

I WANT HIM.

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored

WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS

GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)

FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10

TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10

SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10

MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10

Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.

Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.

TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10

FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10

Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10

Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10

OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.

Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10

Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11

KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10

Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN

Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12

Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:

So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10

DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10

Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs

Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10

TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10

To sum it up—

GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10

If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)

[txbioglow]

serious talk today 😔 so i need to address character anons . why you should be careful with them , my experience ( bc that’s why im making this , as i need to address it ) , and if you are a character anon for someone , why it’s so important to be nice .

this is long but please bare with me as it’s important

everyone wants a character anon. someone to talk to that also happens to be a character from a show you like ?? sign me up . people use character anons as comfort characters , they talk to them , get to pretend like their favorite character is actually real for just a bit . and it truly makes people happy . they feel good abt themselves and puts a smile on their face . see the difference with real friends and anons , is that you know exactly who your mutual is . with your character anon , you have no idea who’s really behind that . when a mutual calls you an insult , it’s most likely in a jokingly and loving way . to a degree , teasing and insulting each other is okay . when that comes from a character anon , it feels like a slap in the face . that perfect happy world you were in ? vanished . now you just feel shocked that your character anon , has just changed and is now bullying you in a way that doesn’t give off tsukishima vibes . like the person behind that is seriously making that character an ass towards you and do you know how much it hurts ? imagine a stranger coming up and calling you for example , a dumbass . or saying they’d rather talk to someone else . hurts right ? that’s how it feels when a character anon comes for you .

moving on to my experience with a character anon . it was heaven at first . i had talked about how much i wanted a character anon and boom there was an anon in my inbox . too good to be true . they were so nice , made me melt . i almost threw my computer across the room couldn’t stop smiling . we spoke for a little , very soft cutely . my friends and i were all fangirling . they were hyping me up , watching this unfold like a k-drama . we were having fun they came up with a ship name for us , helped me reply to my anon , until everything went downhill

then we moved to my alt account to talk for a few reasons and i’m very glad we did because i would be ashamed if any of you had to have the conversation that started popping up on your dashboard . i received a message from them saying “ gotta blast to another babe, i’ll be back in a bit 🧡- your dearest ( character ) 🧡”

see i don’t care if you use this same anon for mutliple people when you interact with me like that it’s in their character and it makes me feel terrible about myself . go ahead and use the same character anon for mutliple people but don’t tell me you have to go talk to ‘ another babe ‘ in your character . makes me feel like i’m no longer interesting and you’re tired of me . not to sound self centered but when you send me a character anon in my inbox , i don’t want to be told those things by them . and it was all fine until then . so my friends said ‘ go off on him ‘ and i just played it cool like i was upset so i ‘ went off ’ 

as if that weren’t good enough i received two more saying  “no need to get pressed miss 💀- (character) 😜” and “i’ll just slide in one of ur friends dms then LMAO- stay pressed 🥺”

this hurt me so much man . i played it cool and said like ‘omg wow ihy you whore ‘ but it really did hurt . i got messages from my three oldest and closest mutuals that the character did indeed ‘ slide ‘ into their inboxes . it was ignored by one , and addressed by two . both seemingly upset because at that point i was visibly hurt . the anon was flamed by them and no on heard from them after that . however two of my mutuals ( including one who received a message from my anon ) gained new anons at the same time i did today . their anons had the EXACT same layout as mine , and i am very suspicious .

see if this wasn’t already ‘ not fine ‘ i then realized , that this person , who acted like an ass , and hurt me , has to be one of my followers . wtf man . did you think it was funny but it went wrong ? were you genuinely attempting to hurt me ? and as well as the fact that two of the mutuals that the anon spoke to after me where two close friends whom i havent publicly interacted with in ages . so is someone stalking me and my acc ? i have full confidence that the anon is reading this right now . what i’m now doing is laying a bit lower , maybe interacting on alt accounts , staying cautious of anons , and attempting to find out who the anon was . my attempts haven’t been working so if anyone who’s reading this knows of methods that have worked for them before ( for finding out who anons are ) please message me or talk to me through inbox or comments . i really want to know who this person was knowing they must follow my account closely . whether its for finding account names or ip addresses , anything works <3

so this brings me to my next topic , please be cautious of anons because you don’t know who they are or what their intentions are . 

and i just want to show some extra love to a few people for the following reasons , 

@zerohawks for hyping me up and helping me out both when the anon was still soft , and when the anon turned . i love u sm

@nejihoe for helping me research ways to find anons , and just listening . understanding my feelings and asking me genuinely how i felt . i appreciate you so much

@kaminology for absolutely flaming my anon on your dashboard , and for being concerned about me and really just putting everything down for me you know how much i love you .

@kageyuwu for really listening and volunteering to do everything you could to help , and scrolling through youtube for a good half an hour trying to figure out how to track anons i appreciate you more than you could know .

please go give them some love !!

anyway i thank you for listening if you made it to the end , heed what i said about being and receiving character anons please for your safety <3 

[derekmorganscrocs]

Nancy Drew 2x12

(FOR REAL THIS TIME!)

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Pls poor grant getting neglected 😩

Nick rly just hired him as soon as he could huh? Not that I blame him or anything. ACE NAMED THE DEEP FRYER RUTH OMG SO CUTE. I love that he names everything “you’re removing the flavour layer” THE WHAT NOW?! ACE WHAT- “your last restaurant closed due to lack of flavour” OW OKAY AGGRESSIVE MUCH?

Ace I like AC/DC too!!! Sorry I’m having a moment here.

SO GRANT IS HIS MIDDLE NAME? OK FRANK. (Sorry I’m sooooo rooting for the hardy boys to come in). Poor ace only being the link to nancy 😭

Pls the way Nancy’s like “Yeah... I get the life of lies thing.” SO CASUAL FOR WHAT- GIRL

“Stone Age of the 90s” WHAT NANCY-

FANSON!!! WOAH THERE BUCKAROO THAT SMOOCH HAPPENED FAST WOAH THERE EASY GOES FANSON THATS A LOT OF SMOOCHING. HANDS HANDS HAND PLACEMENT 👀 I SEE U NICK WOWZA. yuh I have a crush on every character what about it? Huh?

OH M G. ODETTE LEAVING LOVE LETTERS TO BESS WAIT STOP- if there was no body timeshare I’d be here for it. SHES WRITING BACK AW

THATS ACES MOM OMG RED ALERT RED ALERT!!! WAIT I KINDA LOVE HER ALREADY 😭 grant is shook. OH GRANT IS KINDA CUTE

NANCY DONT DO IT GIRL NONONO DO NOT BE A GRANDCHILD BE A DREW. NANCY DREW NOT NANCY HUDSON. GRANDCHILD MOMENT? NO.

BROTHER MOMENT! That is not Florence.

OH SISTER MOMENT! “It’s bath time boyz” OMG PLS I SNORTED. omg bess about to get caught no 😩 FANSON CALL!! oh no nick dont get murdered pls.

Carson radiates wholesome helpful dad energy and I love him. Do I spy chemistry??? Maybe a lil?

“Is this a thing?” Nancy yes it is girl they need to figure each other out! They’re the hardy boys to be 😫

“Ace run!” Oh so grant can just go fuck himself I guess! Jkjk i know she grabbed grant lmao. BoyScout Ace returns!!! Oh heroic grant letting nancy go first omg, so sweet! I still think he’s frank, that’s a frank thing to do. “Trust me, I’m your brother” I SAY HARDY BOYS! Srsly though that was adorable. “Which ninja turtle?” ACE THE MAN JUST ALMOST DIED GIVE HIM A BREAK

Nicks phone must be tapped or something?? Idk but that’s a lot of red flowers.

NANCY’s THUMBS UP PLS! BAHHAHAHA I CANT they’re covered in dirt. “Ace don’t break my tv” mr. d, Ace is the least likely to break your tv come on, besides he’ll fix it if he did lmao OH NO THE DAD- COME THRU THOM!!!

Back to nick now, oh but we’re all her now okay. YEAH OBVS THE COP AND WITNESS RELATION IS FORBIDDEN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THOM BUT HOLY CARP DUDE ABUSE OF POWER???

I love the sister times!! SHE KNOWS ODETTE? SHE HELPS ME WITH MY FRENCH HOMEWORK? PLS I LOVE MOM!ODETTE!!

YES THOM COME THRU!! Lyrics are good, DATE IS BETTER! Ace is boutta get kidnapped. Sir pls don’t steal my bf!!

He stole my bf.

Oh ok rly you could’ve called richboyryan but you called GRANDMA? WHY?

GEORGE IS FINDING OUT? GEORGE FOUND OUT! OH NO. Pls not george roasting bess’ writing lmaoo UH ODETTED WHAT? MAAM MADAME PLS STOP.

OH NO ACE IS ON A LEDGE- PLS NO STOP. who is he?? The actor looks familiar lmaooo SHIT NO- ACE DONT DIE BABE PLS. IM SO SCARED RN THAT DUDE IS SCARY AS HELL. OH THANK GOD. oh okay wow that was a big hug- ACE PLS I CANnOT.

this is gonna be a rough 2nd half of the season for ace. NO NO GRANT U HAVE TO STAY. YOU NEED TO STAY AND BE FRANK. FRICK YOU FOR GETTING MY HOPES UP AND LEAVING. oh no Ace is gonna hate that nancy owes Celia for him. Oh nancy and ace are gonna be pissy @ each other now 🖐😭 pls I like them as besties.

SISTERS FOR LIFEEEE I LOVE THEM! She sabotaged the clams omfg I love her! Aw nick is excited too STOP I CANT TAKE THIS IM LONELY AND FANSON IS CUTE. what did Ryan do. RYAN WTF DID YOU DO- Ryan doesn’t even know what he did lmao or is he lying lmao OMG R WE GONNA GET PRISON RYAN?

FLORENCE 😫 ILY BB!! OMG SON REVEAL!!! YAY. THOM already knows pls. STOP IM CRYING NO THOM IS CRYING IM SOBBING HE JNOWS SIGN LANGUAGE STOP THE MUSIC I CANT HANDLE THIS NO SO CUTE “that’s my brother” I AM SPIRALLING I CANT HANDLE THIS NO STOP OMG GRANT DONT LEAVE PLS I JUST WANTED FRANK HARDY-

oh come on nancy. REALLY I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN BUT RLY?! JFC COME ON DUDE

Okay so lastly I need to say I respect the nace and their shippers and I know the ship is probably inevitable, but I’m not the biggest fan of that ship so if we could keep nace to a minimum on my page that would be greatly appreciated!! Much love ❤️

ALSO WHEN ACE WAS OVER THE RAILING THERE AND HIS HAIR WAS LIKE IN HIS EYES WITH THE MIDDLE PART? HOT. I LOVED ACE’S S1 HAIR AND THIS MIDDLE PART IS JUST MWAH. Bringing me back to the good ol’ days when Lucy was our biggest problem 😫

Oh and lastly for real, lastly: I love all of them: Ace, Nick, Grant, Owen (rip), Riley Smith (Ryan kinda sucks lol), Carson on the dl 👀 THEYRE HOT OKAY? And the ladies too WOW they’re all so pretty and I am in loveeeee with George

Not many thoughts from my sister, just a lot of gasping @ grant and she also says he should be frank hardy. She also thinks prison Ryan would be interesting btw

[artificialqueens]

Cause Though the Truth May Vary, This Ship Will Carry (Gigi/Nicky) - Campvanjie

AN: Based on the prompt: “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.” A slight AU Gigi/Nicky, little bit of unrequited crushing and a lot of fate, originally posted to my old AO3 account on May 24th, 2020. Edited as well to add non-binary pronouns for Gigi out of drag, as the original used male pronouns. Don’t worry, I’m the original author and only want all of my stories collected under one pen name.

Summary: Nicky and Gigi strike up a friendship online, but just can’t meet until the time’s exactly right.

CW: slight mentions of homophobia.

The sun’s almost setting on an August day when Gigi flicks through the games in their library, bored of sniping enemies from rooftops, set on finding something else that has a competitive mode, kicking underneath the bed to find their headset. It would probably be best to at least try to talk to other people, and maybe even count up all the times people call each other gay without even realizing they’re talking to someone, who’s made sixteen dollars an hour dressing up as a girl and working at the rock climbing wall for all of high school.

There’s gay, and then there’s Gigi Goode; with a closet hanging full of custom couture, not that they’d ever admit to their mom that her work isn’t the worst.

There’s only one player in the team’s group chat, as Gigi adjusts their headset so they can talk into the mic.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hi!”, laughs the voice in his headphones; crackling as Gigi shoots and blows apart a box in the game’s lobby. There’s an accent there he can’t quite place, not that it matters so much, since the guy on the other end easily guides him through the map and even cracks a couple of jokes as one of the other team’s players is booted off a cliff. Maybe he’s Spanish, or Russian, since there are lot of Russian people on the server at this time of almost- night.  

They queue for another round, his player’s character stopping next to a poster of one of the girls in the game.

“I like her, do you?”, he asks, and Gigi cringes a little. Straight guys were fucking exhausting, but this was just embarrassing-

“Like, this coat, with the belt like this, makes her waist look like she is a wasp. The insect, not the white people.”, he keeps talking, and Gigi’s eyes widen a little.

“Yeah, I’d buy those boots.”, they joke, hoping that whoever it is, will take it in stride, and he won’t have to listen to someone who’d been cool for the past half an hour, suddenly start losing their mind over how gay that was to say out loud.

“The boots? I want this hair- I want just Mortal Kombat hair but like this color, and maybe instead of a gun I want the scepter, like Sailor Jupiter. You’ve seen that, yes?”

Gigi blinks a couple of times. He’s serious?

“Like, of course. Yeah.”

“She’s a Mugler bitch. Hm, aren’t you?”, the voice teases on the other end; kicking at one of the boxes in the game.

Gigi is silent, as their queue timer runs out, and their team join another game which is already active when they’re dropped in.

“It’s the Hermes winter collection.”

“What?”

“That jacket is a dupe from the Hermes winter collection. You said Mugler-”, Gigi repeats, blasting through a wall in the game.

“Oh- oh you’re saying- this past winter! Of course! Maybe someone on the design team is also a fan?”

“Maybe.”

The two of them finish the round, and Gigi eagerly hits yes; when a little box pops up to add TheNickyDoll to their friends list.

(Gigi adds him back on Discord, too- because they’re probably not taking the Xbox to college, and then, they can send pictures right away.

He’s not a serial killer, and he’s cute.

Gigi can’t help but wonder if Nicky thinks the same of them.)

They slowly knit together in between Gigi’s first semester, and when Nicky moves into a new apartment in the eleventh arrondissement in Paris, and pops a bottle of champagne against his camera on his phone, propped up in his new kitchen. He plays with the zipper on his hoodie, and Gigi still can’t help but be surprised with how simple his wardrobe is.

Gigi spends hours carefully curating their wardrobe, though they supposed in Europe, there were just better pickings.

“Don’t you have friends?”, Gigi jokes, shirtless against the white brick walls of their dorm.

“Everyone will be over later, but I just wanted to do a toast for your timezone. It will be like three am for you when everyone else gets off work.”

“So this is a private party? Well… okay let me get my card.”

“Seriously? Not that kind of party!”

“Didn’t say it was. Congratulations, by the way. I got you something! Well like, I found it, and it’s so you-“

Gigi flicks the camera to face forwards, swinging to a painting hanging in the closet.

“Aw, well you didn’t have to- what the fuck is that?”

“Putin! I painted him in like the eighth grade. My mom was dropping off some stuff last weekend and I can mail him-“

Nicky’s eyebrows shoot up, pots and pans clattering on the other end of the line.

“Bitch, I am trying to not be the victim of a hate crime.”

Gigi laughs a little bit, flipping the camera back to focus on their face.

“I never asked, what do you even do?”

“What?”

“Like you- you have a job right? What’s your job?”

“Ah, I’m working, well I worked at a makeup store, but now I have some contracts, and maybe, you know- this neighborhood is where all the bars and the clubs are. If there’s no work on the runways maybe some will be looking for new girls.”

Gigi’s cheeks run hot for a moment.

“Wait, you- you’re a girl?”, they ask weakly, hoping it won’t absolutely ruin their entire… whatever it is, when you’d rather have a private housewarming alone in bed, than pretend to enjoy the beers that are flowing through the rest of the hall downstairs.

“Only when I’m being paid. Do you know- well, you have to in America you have RuPaul’s show- it’s like that-“

“You do drag? Wait, really?”

“Shhhh.”, he stops them, pressing a finger between his lips. “It’s like, I haven’t got any bookings yet but some of the clubs are interested- some of the parties, too. I can be a bottle girl.”

Gigi simply blinks repeatedly in the screen.

“What- is that too gay? I thought we were both pretty gay.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Hey-“, Gigi keeps the camera on their face, their eyes flicking up towards the naked mannequin resting against the closet door. Most of Gigi’s things were still at home, but there was a black feathered swimsuit they’d been working on- if they took out the waist just a bit-

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Wow, we are getting deep in, Dr Phil.”

“Seriously, what is it?”

“I’m feeling pink recently. Usually just- something simple. Blue. Black. It’s soothing.”

“Black is not a color.”  

“Then it’s my favorite not-color.” Nicky pours from the bottle into a flute on her counter. “Get something to drink, come on.”

“Uh-“

“Doesn’t matter what. Come on!”

Gigi reaches for Red Bull, yesterday’s alcohol mixed into it, tangy and stale in the metal can.

“Okay.”

“Pace a Salute!”, Nicky cheers, and they clink their drinks against the camera.

-

Two months later, there’s a wrapped package on his stoop, covered in foreign postage, wet at the edges like it’s been through- what Americans would call the ringer, the labels so scratched over he can barely make out the return address, when he cuts the cardboard open on his kitchen counter.

If this was that stupid Putin painting, he was deleting Gigi from his entire life-

Inside, is fabric folded in paper, a little cloth ribbon tied around where a card is tucked in.

“I dont know what your actual skin tone is because you need better lights but merry Christmas if it doesn’t fit or doesn’t match sell it on eBay and get better lights”,

Gigi has written, in neat, large letters.

Nicky carefully unfurls the rest of it, and there’s a blue and pink bodysuit inside, accented with green and yellow panels that glitter like the facets of a diamond, and a yellow jacket, the bottom cut off just below the ribs, hemmed in thick stitches so the fabric won’t roll up.

Had Gigi gone and had this made? Or was it off the rack?, he wondered, digging for price tags and labels in the fabric.

Nothing.

Shit.

He fires off a message to Gigi, who is still showing as offline, given it’s probably six in the morning where he is.

14:17

-

How much is this “gift” you got me? Wtf…

FaceTime me later.

There’s predictably no response, and that night; he paints carefully in the mirror in his bedroom, laying out the little black dress he had chosen for the performance on his bed.

At the very last minute though, it’s that little suit from Gigi that wins out, nude panels sliding over his tights as he shimmies in front of the mirror.

It’s not perfect, but it all looks very nice.

When later comes, Gigi is wearing a red wig with blonde streaks that she runs her long fingers through, winking at the camera.

“My mom’s actually a professional seamstress. It didn’t cost anything, babe.”, she says with a little shrug, a tight yellow dress barely moving around his shoulders. There’s always a party here; and Gigi can’t imagine hating it more, the little college town bigger than he was used to, and yet still- too small for what she really wanted.

“If you want other stuff, I’ll send it. There’s lots of stuff that I don’t really wear anymore and we kind of have the same style. It’s not like anyone can say anything, then they’d have to admit they’ve seen me out in public. Or I could even make you something, I’m bored all the time.”

“Why are you doing this?”, Nicky asks.

“I dunno. It’s not like you’re my competition. You’re my friend.”

19:41

-

Anyway, I’m dropping out of school, getting a nose job and moving out to LA.

Gigi types out on their phone, underneath the table at their family’s annual thanksgiving dinner.

19:41

-

Maybe not all at once.

Nicky’s reply comes lightning fast- making Gigi grin.

“Are you seriously getting nudes right now?”, one of their brothers asks, and their mother glares at the both of them over the table.

“I’m getting some new sketches from my atlier in Paris.”, they seethe, glancing back down at the floor. Nicky’s been trying to teach him French, like it’s something that occupies them so that Gigi doesn’t implode; in between sending him links to his favorite shows to watch, and YouTube links to makeup tutorials.

(He still hasn’t figured out if Nicky means it; or if he’s trying to be shady, and just doesn’t know how.)

“Atlier is where you get the clothes made, dumbass. Mom’s sewing room isn’t Paris.”

“Shut up!”

“All of you just stop-”

19:43

-

It’s a hard time in life in general.

Try not to listen so much to those voices in your head.

Nicky’s text pops up with a loud, mechanical pinging noise, three dots still hovering under the message as Gigi forces looks up from the screen and glowers across the table as they reach for more baby carrots.

19:43

-

Make mistakes, but not too many, haha. You’ll figure it out.

If it makes you feel a little bit better, I’m moving to San Fran

19:43

-

What? For real?

Gigi’s nails frantically tap over the screen.

19:45

-

Yes! I bought a ticket.

And my husband called an immigration lawyer, we’re going to get my green card situation set.

“Lawyer-”, Gigi gasps; and their entire family pauses, glancing over the table at them.

“Jesus Christ. You did it, didn’t you? You got arrested your first semester, and you weren’t even gonna tell us-”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”, they snap, flipping the bird at their oldest brother.

“Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”

Their whole table erupts in a discussion Gigi can’t pay any attention to.

19:50

-

Cool.

That means I get to see you soon.

It’s gonna be great.

They taps ou, and close the app with a smile.

-

They hadn’t known if Nicky even had a boyfriend, not that it mattered; until it did.

Apparently; he had been married, for almost the whole time they had known each other- a blow Gigi hadn’t quite expected, to leave them as breathless as landing in Los Angeles; the shock not setting in, not in full, anyway- until they are standing in a new apartment, looking down at a menu of instructions on how to set up the wifi in the unit, fingers hovering over everyone in contacts.

They can’t call their mom; not this soon, and their brothers would tell her, and the whole plan would crumble; just like everything had with Nicky; whose calls Gigi had declined for the past solid month; the nights they had spent with their phones propped up behind desks and dressing room mirrors fading into something beyond memory; that they refused to think about any more than they had to, the messages asking if they’re alright answered in curt, short replies.

How could they have been so stupid, thinking that they were talking-talking, teasing that Nicky and they were friends; when Gigi didn’t even know what his real name was.

(Unless it was Nicky?)

Shit.

Gigi waits for their phone to load into the app, and refreshes the friends list a couple of times, until they can see Nicky’s icon at the top, the side of the circle cut through with a little green dot, and taps twice to start a call.

“Hi?”

Nicky’s greeting floats in the air, between a breath and utter silence before Gigi swallows their pride, pressing the phone to the side of their face.

“What do you know about connecting a router to a tower if I live on the…um third floor?”

The line crackles, but soon there’s a tiny, familiar chuckle. “First of all, that is not how you do any of that-”

They talk a little more, every day; in between, Nicky moves to New York and Gigi cuts a tape that they put in the mail with a wink. They’re due for a visit home soon, and carefully proposes- maybe it’s time they meet Nicky. New York isn’t far at all, and a layover would make for a cheaper flight, anyway.

-

Their plans stack up in hours of calls; and Gigi think they’re almost back to normal. Until, three days before the flight is supposed to leave, there’s a call they had forgotten to wait for, and their fingers hover over the message box below Nicky’s name, vibrating with anxiety and excitement all at once.

09:22

-

Hey. I had a family thing come up.

Gigi types, and then erases the text, steeling themselves as they taps out another one that makes a little more sense, and doesn’t seem like such a lie.

09:30

-

I’m so so so so sorry about this

I had some things come up and my trip fell through.

They send this instead, surprised to see Nicky start typing back immediately.

09:35

-

You’re not going to believe this

I have some work things that started recently and so it would have been really shitty to have a guest over now.

09:35

-

No way!

09:37

-

Yeah. :(( But we’re gonna hang out someday, I swear!

09:37

-

Dont worry! You’re definitely gonna see me.

Real real real soon!

-

“-Where do I go?”, Gigi asks, pulling at the bottom hem of the ornate jacket she wore, fiddling with the gold telescope in her hands. The lights behind the set burned brightly, making the thicker bottoms of the outfit feel much warmer than he had remembered them being.

“Go to that green square on the ground, and wait there, when you see the little arrow light up, you can enter the Werk Room and then we’ll have you stop inside, get your opening line, and let you see the other girls.”

“Okay.”

He does as he’s told, prancing in and kicking his boots in front of him as the lights move to capture Gigi’s entrance, his head only snapping to the side when given the signal, so he can see the others who are already crowded around the pink tables he’s only dreamed of seeing for so long.

“Holy Shit…Nicky?!”

In reality; Gigi can see far more of the detail of Nicky’s face; of her eyebrows and carefully painted cheeks and lashes, of all the effort that they had only really talked about, his eternal summer tan and the long fringe of black hair that he’s always nudging across his forehead, or slicked against a beanie, gone behind a platinum blonde veneer that’s so much brighter than Gigi has ever seen. She’s thinner, and taller, careful breaths underneath sequinned shoulder pads, knees knocking together as she gasps.

“Gigi!”

Widow and Crystal glance at each other over the pink table.

“Hold up, you guys know each other?”

In the flesh; Gigi is impossibly small, the sharp angles of her face, and the dark brown hair that sticks up in angles which Nicky traces against the white of his pillows in his bedroom on the screen of his phone in the morning, taped underneath a gold-tipped pirate hat, and lush, wavy curls. She looks like a model on the runways where Nicky used to work; so close to him that he can feel Gigi’s breath on the back of his hand, as he tightens his grip around the epaulets on her shoulder.

“Gigi Goode.”, she repeats, and Gigi giggles a little at that.

“The Nicky Doll.”, she laughs, and her voice sounds so much more solid, than it ever has over every crossed wire.

Gigi’s hand swings, squeezing Nicky’s tightly as they swing around the table; like the others who are there don’t matter at all. She rests her head on Nicky’s padded shoulder, cocking it just slightly, waiting there, as Crystal’s eyes flash at the scene before them.

“…and may the best woman win.”, Gigi whispers, only for Nicky to hear.

[assless-chapstick]

K so I’ve been a fan of your writing for a long time, VERY well written, very shameless, well done. 10/10 would smash or get smashed again. I love the Arthur/John/Charles pairing, what are your thoughts on John taking Charles for the first time with Charles topping him, just easily pressing him down, making him be obedient then Arthur either walking in and joining or joining in the fun after watching for a bit. Kind of a slut for top Charles, id love to see your take on this. Thanks!

hehe…….. thats me i guess, feller…. shameless…

And my thoughts on J/A/C (I guess we could call it…. Smorston? idk they need a fun ship name) are plentiful… i’m just chock fulla cum ideas

LIKE!! I already have a sequel planned to the piece I’m writing now…

Arthur is out of town at some kind of Car Show or other manly activity Charles isn’t keen on - maybe it’s his annual hunting trip with Dutch n Hosea, who in this universe are like, Arthur’s queer elders (they’re a pair of old queens that’ve been together since like, the early 70s and been thru it and they took Arthur in after he got kicked out for being trans) - and Charles is really missing Arthur. Sure it’s only been like, a week, but he’s crazy in love and texting just ain’t enough…

So Charles is feelin’ real lonesome, and he’s got a key to Arthur’s place now, so like, what’s the harm? He’ll drop by, grab a couple shirts or something, lay in Arthur’s bed for a while… maybe jerk off with his face buried in Arthur’s pillow, just to enjoy the comforting smell of him while he’s gone…

So Charles, yeah, he kinda lets himself into Arthur’s place, it’s a little pathetic how in love he is… but he lets himself in and all the lights are off so he’s sure he’s alone…

But there’s John, sprawled out on the couch in nothing but a pair of white, lacy panties (how many pairs of panties does the guy own??) watching porn on he n Arthur’s big screen TV, right in the living room (It’s lesbian porn, and one of the chicks is wearing the same type of white lacy panties, FYI; John has Some Fetishes, I guess…) 

And Charles is like WTF bro waht the hell why are you in the living room?? and John is all like, “well I fuckin’ live here, dude. I thought I was alone, not expecting my roomie’s boyfriend to show up.” And maybe Charles is a little hurt, like John doesn’t even cal him a friend, and after the last time, he’d thought the three of them had maybe made some sort of connection… cuz he wants to be more than that with John…

But something happens, somehow Charles ends up on the couch with John (who never really got soft after he got caught…), looming over him, caging him in against the couch and the way John looks up at him, a little defiant but a lot willing… They’re making out, and Charles’ never kissed John before but John is sloppy and keeps licking into his mouth and it’s disgusting, he’s disgusting but maybe Charles has kind of a thing for gross, disgusting twinks… n John’s leaking in his panties…

Of course, Charles takes a second to text Arthur - it’s never been Just Charles and John, without him - so he texts Arthur like “Hey, long story but I’m kissing John. Is that ok?” and Arthur texts back like, “lol bite his tits for me he loves that. miss u babe, be home soon. cant wait to hear abt what you 2 get up to. love u.” And thats as much permission as Charles needs.

And Charles doesn’t mean to take it all the way, wants to be safer than sorry, figures they’ll just do some grinding, he’ll jerk John off through those girly panties and then maybe fuck his mouth, but John… He keeps grinding his ass against Charles’ dick, the lube is right there and “I already fingered myself so hard, dude, I’m fuckin gaping, I was gonna sit on something but I need your cock, please…”

And maybe, maybe Charles has a thing for sluts, knows John is playing into that, using it to coerce him, but he doesn’t really care cuz he really, really wants to bend John in half n fuck him stupider, has wanted to for a while because he has a thing for scrawny white boys with no asses and attitude problems……..

So they end up fucking right there on the couch, kinda primal and angry, almost like hatefucking… Charles is usually soft and kind, especially when Arthur is around (to offset the way Arthur keeps John in line with that weird bondage shit) but something about John challenges him, makes him want to be rough… wants to fuck that stupid smug look off John’s face…

(also imagine the face John makes when Charles is finally inside him… Like he’s all smug and self satisfied, until it goes deeper… n deepr… n deeper… n John is stretched so tight and so fucking full he feels like he cant breathe, is gasping at the way it presses on everything inside him and he’s kinda clinging to Charles and trying to play it cool but he’s already fucking close and his eyes are all big and he’s panting with a wet, open mouth……)

So Charles like, doesn’t even pull the panties off, just pushes them aside and fucks John on the couch, face buried in his neck as John just clings to him and makes noises like a fuckin pornstar, and Charles feels mean and he pins John’s arms above his head and bites at his chest (Arthur called them tits but they’re pitiful, and he almost tells john as much) and his neck and drags his fingernails down Johns back and digs them into his ass and John cums with Charles’ cock so deep inside him cuz yeah, the guy is tiny and twinky but he takes dick like a champ, Charles feels like he’s fucking Johns kidneys with how deep he is in him… he cums deep inside him, too, n cums a lot… when he pulls out it leaks onto the couch and John reaches around to feel it leakin out of himself and he’s looking at charles with this like, awed expression….

and john is just like “Send him a picture,” with none of the demanding brattiness he usually has, as if Charles fucked it all out of him… So Charles does, he takes a picture of John all bruised and sweaty with his panties all askew and Charles’ cum leakin out of him and texts it to Arthur…

and then the two of them just kinda hang out, watch netflix and Charles helps John clean up and they smoke a bowl and fall asleep on the couch and its kind of soft… (maybe when they wake up John even sucks Charles’ dick, which is disgusting, he didn’t even shower, but it’s kinda sexy how bad John wants it and how unashamed and gross he is)

AND THATS WHAT PART TWO WOULD BE LIKE now i must return to studying

Thanks for the great ask, mister!!!  This is… such a good…. idea………

[redshirtrights]

return to tomorrow

[tos s2 ep 20] 

got my soup. got my crackers. ready 4 star trek

SULU IS BACK!! 

do you think spock is just so tired of being expected to know everything bc he’s a vulcan?

sargon? could u perhaps be named for sargon the first akkadian king? flexes my art history muscles. 

actually wait. where the fuck is mr. chekov?

“mr. spock we can’t both be off the ship.” do u have no faith in scotty? do u kirk?

put me in starfleet. i am the biggest of champion of captain scotty.

sargon. sir. you can just SAY please bring spock you don’t have to shut down the entire goddamed ship. 

 why does bones always have to go down. why did he sign up for cmo. 

scotty expressing concern...spock reassuring him with logical data. big love you. 

i love star trek’s trope of kirk just being...awestruck? by beautiful women he’s never run into on board. 

LMAO THOSE TWO RED SHIRTS NOT GETTING BROUGHT ALONG. 

ya’ll are SAFE BABES. sargon thanks for red shirt rights. 

i also love that shot of scotty with his arms crossed leaning against the con....scotty....

hey it’s me! your everyday talking orb! 

omg at stlv19 me and @protovulcan went to a panel about why most star trek life is humanoid and one of the theories he talked about was how we’re all descended from one visiting alien species that spread their “seed” and he played a clip from this episode. 

it always makes me laugh like...imagine being will shatner and having to act at this orb. 

bones...pulling out his gun immediately. 

not to empathize but uh imagine being fully sentient but not being able to see, feel, or anything ew

bones really is along for the ride. 

literally love that in between shots they sprayed kirk with water or something to make him look exhausted. 

this is kind of cute....kirk is so eager to help even if it hurts you. 

AAJDFJHEJKAH THIS JUMP CUT FROM “aaaah yes if you decide against us you may leave freely” TO SCOTTY GOING: “YOU’RE GOING TO DO WHAT??!!” 

“are they alright in the head, doctor??!!”

“no comment”

in times like these. we ship scones. 

them seducing scotty to approve it by saying there’s gonna be sexy new technology 

yeah you know..I KNOW that bones is concerned about everyone’s health but like, i feel like sometimes he comes off as unwilling to help simply bc he doesn’t like aliens. 

this is a REALLY good kirk speech. 

“risk is our business!” this is SOO GOOD. 

EPOS SPOCK IS HORNY. 

this fucking deep echo filter they put over spock talking is HOT. 

BAHAHAHAH SO KIRK AND RED SHIRT LADY ARE HAVING THEIR ROMANTIC REUNION AND IT CUTS TO CHAPEL SMILING LIKE “AW” AND SPOCK POSSESED IS BEHIND HER AND HE LOOKED LIKE “UH....EW?” 

possessed spock: “HEY, DOCTOR. this body is HOT aint’ it?” spones?

you know those like. decorative orbs of light people have in thier homes. if star trek made and sold ones that looked like the glowly orbs in this episode would be something i would buy. they look...cool

i love how casual possessed spock is like...oh huh this lady has critical thinking skills. wasn’t expecting that lol! boop, amnesia! 

AAAAAA HAHA LADY WAS LOOKING AT HERSELF IN THE MISSOR AND IT WASJKFKAEJHF SOOOO DISTORED IM CRYING 

god. scotty is HOT. 

spock leaning against the wall. teasing scotty. scotty looking over his shoulder like...hmmm. SCOTTY SPOCK RIGHTS! 

you know. i wonder if like....

this is me being me but.

could this problem be solved by like. 

gosh idk if there would even be people who are in comas and brain dead but like

like if the next of kin approved couldn’t these guys go live in their bodies? 

bones really gonna condemn a real woman to live in an orb to bring kirk back to life?

NO HE AINT!! RESPECT. 

the real tradgedy of having sargon be in chapel is that we won’t see her and red shirt lady kiss

can we share things with mccoy, please?

hE’S LIKE....SPOCK IS DEAD JIM WTF?? 

hey so like. where’s sulu. 

there he is.

sir will they give you LINES? 

sargon and thylassa sharing one last kiss and going unafraid into the end TOGETHER? i AM CRYING. 

god that was really poignant. 

OKAY. so this was an episode that i didn’t even recall but it was...a jOY? i really really liked this one? the plot was fun. the acting was great. the message was really interesting. 9/10

[velvet-tread]

Unfiltered sweary mess: 507 edition

I had thoughts so I decided to this again. Let’s hope it doesn’t become a habit.

Let’s start with the Bellarke of it all, and the sheer joy of seeing them hustle up a plan together on the fly. AND LISTEN I am not on the #bellamysucksnow train, or the #bellarkeisdead train either and as such fair warning there is squee incoming. It feels like the core of the show has returned to us after s4’s barren years and IT IS GREAT. And honestly? I don’t care that romance isn’t in the air between them RIGHT NOW. I thought I would mind but I don’t. It feels right. It feels true to Bellamy, and it feels true to Clarke, and it feels exactly like the vibe I’d expect and want between two characters who love and respect each other and their choices, who have been apart for so long and need to reconnect. Let’s do right by Clarke and Bellamy, yeah? We’ve waited for 4 seasons (the last of which gave us sweet fa) we can wait a little longer.

And seriously, even if it turns out they are just beautiful co-leaders with a lot of professional respect for each other (yeah RIGHT) they could never, ever kill that relationship for me as long as they are in scenes together like this. I don’t care if they don’t bang (call me out on my lies someone), but the concurrent Bellarke scenes in the dining hall, and the triffid room, and then on Echo-watch just gave me so many OTP vibes. Bellarke are at their most effective when they’re together, even better when they have the support of their genius friends. And we got a return of the Bellarke dry-as comedy double act WTF @the100writersroom are you trying to be good at your jobs or something.

Top bantz, as we’d say in Essex.

Too bad the Bellarke unity ain’t gonna last, but thankfully, Bellarke are just as awesome when they are just…very angry and exasperated with each other ok, but DON’T HURT YOUR PRECIOUS SELF I MAY BE FURIOUS BUT WHEN DID YOU LAST SLEEP AND DO YOU NEED SOMETHING TO EAT

Great to have Monty back in the frame cutting through everyone’s bullshit. I thought he’d been relegated to a bit part this season. Oh ye of little faith. Does anyone realise that Monty is the biological weapon earth forgot? Put that angry face in a room with Octavia and see how long it takes for her to crack and wither from Monty’s externalised disappointment with everyone and everything.

Bellamy burning Octavia ow ow ow. I’ve already spoken about this at some length but damn that hurt. And it was deserved, but still spoke to the depth of his contempt for Blodreina.

Which brings me to…BELLARKE V BLODREINA: GRUDGE MATCH

And man, was this grudge match some time coming. To make sure the audience was VERY CLEAR on EVERYONE’S MORAL STANDING, the show helpfully prepped us with some little reminders that Bellamy helped commit a massacre, and Clarke did a load of horrible human testing in Becca’s lab last season. Thanks show.

So, all armed and loaded, the mud slinging began, and boy was it awesome.  First of all Bellarke takes Octavia to task about the worms and TURNS OUT OCTAVIA DIDN’T KNOW which get a grip on power here Octavia because it’s slipping from your grasp faster than you can say Wonkru Barbecue (shoutout to @mego42 – your time is coming). But Miller obviously watched the earlier part of the show and recapped for Octavia just in time because she’s ready for that shit and fires everyone’s dark past back at them. Cue: Bellamy’s best frowny face and Eliza Taylor’s saddest, most regretful Clarke eyes.

Bellarke disarmed and cowed (for now) live to fight another war they don’t want to fight.

But Octavia’s grudge match continues in her office when Indra enters with the intention of being reasonable, which is exactly the kind of shit Blodreina has warned her about before so help her god.

Indra is, obviously, the Queen of Everything and My Heart and delivers some bitchass Truths as Indra is wont to do and Octavia rewards her by throwing what my mind remembers as a skull but was probably a paperweight because why would Octavia have a skull in her office *nervous laughter*

Indra leaves, still Queen of Everything and My Heart, but not before delivering a portentous warning about losing yourself in the dark, which obviously Octavia is not going to listen to because DAUGHTERS, MAN.

Talking of daughters, Madi trying to suck at training was the most adorbs thing I’ve seen in a long time, guys and I am subscribed to a LOT of cat blogs. And man I felt for her. Sucking at anything sucks, and sucking on PURPOSE is just the height of unfair. And she’s in a new school! And the other kids are mean! And maybe they eat people!

Serious question though: from whence did Madi learn her swordswomanship? Clarke? Helios? Roan? (too soon?).

But don’t blame Clarke, Madi! Clarke’s Madi feels are pretty much on a par with mine which means she wants to cry every time she looks at her earnest little face AND CLARKE I FEEL THAT SO HARD YOUR BABY IS ADORABADASS. Which also means MAMA MODE ACTIVATED when Vodka Aunt Octavia starts messing up that precious braid she put in Madi’s hair earlier.

Hey Vodka Aunt, you don’t just get to come in here and make executive choices about Madi’s career, especially given your past efforts at parenting *looks at Ethan*

Oh, oh, oh and WE GOT A RETURN OF THE MUSICAL INTERLUDE! It was like Knocking on Heaven’s Door and Early Seasons feels all over again. But I gotta say Jason, fresh from the Sense8 finale my musical interlude expectations are higher these days and I was a bit disappointed there wasn’t a dance off. Perhaps an orgy or an endgame B/C/E triad instead? *Wanheda jaw clench*

But anyway that whole sequence of Clarke sending Madi off to her first day of training sent me in to a spiral of sadness that lasted for a lot of minutes I wasn’t counting. It was very sad and I am sad about it. Poor Clarke.  Just as well Octavia helped her remember she’s motherfucking Wanheda.

MY GIRL ECHO MY GIRLING UP THE HOUSE.

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate what a babe Echo kom Spacekru nee Azgeda is.  First of all: EVIDENCE OF SPACE GIRL SQUAD and I am all here for that. Second of all Echo is officially the first person on the show to get one over of Colonel Charmaine Diyoza SOMEONE GET ME A FUCKING SHOT.

And listen up everyone who bashes at their keyboards dribbling with rage about the things other women like on television: I love ladies with swords and if you want an apology for that you’ll have to prise it out of my cold dead body. But can we just take a (second) moment to appreciate that for all of Echo’s badass sword skills, she is Clarke Griffining up this joint like a motherfucker. Echo is as Slytherin as Clarke and as sneaky as Clarke and as smart as Clarke and that manoeuvre she executed with Zeke and Raven was 100% a Clarke Griffin move, don’t @ me.

It’s almost like….they’re similar….on purpose….

Shout out to all the smart, insecure girls who aren’t sure if they belong. Learn to swordfight, use your brain, and get yourself a girl squad and a soft space dad boyfriend.

Sidebar: Clarke’s faith that Echo would take the eye down and her admiration when she does will keep me in Clecho feels for months.

But friends…I am the most fervent of Echo stans and Becho shippers and I am AFEARED. She is very much circling the abyss here and it gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. I believe Raven will forgive her (FOR WHAT CAN SOMEONE PLS ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO WHAT RAVEN IS SO PISSED ABOUT??) and I believe the rest of Spacekru will 100% understand what she did because it was presented to us as an understandable choice.  But but but… what’s next?  Diyoza ain’t gonna take the turn the other cheek approach to learning that Echo took down her eye in the sky. What if her next move is to make *Echo* her eyes in exchange for safe passage for Spacekru?

*sweats forever*

That seems like a Diyoza move. And like…where would that leave Echo with Bellamy? Her choice would be: tell him and risk the whole mission and/or turn him into a lying liar to his sister too, or not tell him and risk their entire relationship and hurt him very badly. I think I know which one my loyal girl would choose and how that would end.

Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

*ugly crying*

I’m not ready.

Okay it’s time for a Raven rant. What the hell is going on with Raven this season? Raven has had some beautifully executed arcs in the past, and I am high key here for her to finally get some NC-17 action now she’s done all that Work On Herself, but if Raven’s arc in s5 amounts to RAVEN DIDN’T GET BONED FOR 6 YEARS AND NOW SHE’S GETTING BONED then Imma flip a table.

Sidebar#2 obviously Raven got boned on the Ring, it’s not like they would have had a space orgy without her, come ON.

And just… I’m sorry I don’t get the Zaven. When they released the s5 pics I thought WOWZA these two are gonna be gr9 together and LOOK HE’S A SPACE EXPLORER. How could this possibly go wrong?  But somehow, they’ve managed to introduce a character who, on his own, is 10x as compelling as Wick, but has about -100% of the chemistry with Raven. Which is???? Some kind of alchemy??? how has that happened? I love Zeke! I love Raven!!! They’re both MAGNETIC on screen. On paper they should be a perfect fit but it’s like whenever they’re in the same scene together I have the sudden urge to check my emails.

And someone, please, just tell me what work Zaven is doing for either of these characters. What’s Raven’s conflict? How does Zeke resolve it? Is it *literally* Raven being presented with a hot dude with a similar skill set? Sorry I’m out.

And before anyone comes at me with the usual packet of whining about how Echo has stolen all of Raven’s screentime, I’d beg you all to remember that there is no law saying that one woman’s time on tv has to be at the expense of another and this is a GIANT SEXIST TRAP DO NOT FALL FOR IT.

Talking of out, Kabby is also circling the drain and [averts eyes from discourse].

But I’m calling Diyoza’s ship name, and if she bangs Kane I hereby pronounce it TEQUILA [whatever Kane’s ship name is, someone hmu].

OK I need to talk about Gaia now before I get shot down by a thunderbolt. The girl creeps me tf out but I SOMEHOW LOVE HER NOW. This is new and unnerving because feverish religious types are not usually my jam ESPECIALLY if they present Clarke’s daughter with a creepy sacred flash drive that they want to insert in her neck, but somehow Tati Gabrielle nails that line, even if my reaction seeing the Flame was exactly the same as my reaction to seeing the worms.

But I believe Gaia’s intentions, while creepy, are pure. And WHO PICKED UP on how fluid her loyalty is? She will serve Blodreina faithfully as long as she reigns. Huh.

In other news McCreary, and more importantly McCreary’s undercut, were absent from this episode I hope they are both enjoying Memori’s couples counselling retreat. I look forward to seeing his glazed expression next week as I cry my Becho tears.